When I decided to start writing a blog it was with the aim of documenting my plan to lose weight. At the start of 2015 I started a diet and lost 2 stone by May, unfortunately, I’ve put it all back on and lost motivation at this point. I’m hoping that this blog will give me the much needed motivation that I need. Anyway, as I started typing the ‘about me’ section I realised that this could be a great platform to basically vent my frustrations and short comings in life.
Every so often I suffer from depression, I mean I’ve never been to a doctor and been diagnosed but it certainly feels like depression. When I get these bouts, I hate everything and I begin to question the value of my life. I’ve even considered suicide, these thoughts are always brief and fleeting though. These periods often don’t last though and are gone within a couple of weeks, after which I go into my usual state of contentment.
I’ve never been fully content with my life, and the thought that I’ll never even be content with my own life terrifies me. I’ve decided that I need to completely change my life, I’ve decided I need to get to my goal body (which I’m a long way off right now) and I need to decide where I want to take my life and then act on it by the end of the year. If you’ve read the ‘Who Am I?’ section of this site then you’ll know that I’m torn between trying a career in music or a career in professional wrestling.
It’s going to be a long road and I’m actually getting a little nervous thinking about it as I write this. I guess writing it down makes it seem more realistic than just thoughts and dreams. Maybe that alone shows that this blog was a good idea. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I just wanted a platform to vent but if anyone is reading, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it.
road to contentment 